Counselor's Corner

Molly Robinson, Counselor
      419-865-9408 - mrobinson@anthonywayneschools.org

As autumn begins, so does our character-building program at Monclova Primary School.  Every year - and during every school day - as Monclova School's Counselor. I will try to encourage all children to work on their character.  Through classroom presentations, school-wide assemblies, individuals discussions with children, and morning announcements, students are encouraged to think about character qualities such as fairness, caring, responsibility, trustworthiness, citizenship and respect.

​The character program includes a tickets system (grades 1-3) that helps students focus on good acts, positive behavior, and character building.  There is a character store where tickets are redeemed for small toys each quarter.  Also each quarter, there is a Super Wheel assembly where qualifying students (grade 1-4) spin for prizes.

I also recognize "Kids of Character" all year long.  This aspect of the program involves a teacher/peer nomination of a student who has demonstrated extraordinary character.  For example, a student might show caring by befriending a new student or a student might demonstrate unusual amounts of fairness during a soccer game at recess.  Once the nominations come, one child, in each grade level 1-4, becomes a Monclova Kid of Character!

​Sooooo, what happens when/if your child becomes a "Kid of Character?"  Well, if that happens, your child will be featured on a school wide announcement where I share what he/she did that demonstrated good character.  Also, each "Kid of Character" will receive a bumper sticker, certificate, pencil, and prize.  I look forward to seeing more and more Monclova Character Kids Bumper Stickers on cars in our parking lot and on area roadways

Take care!

Molly Robinson

Is it Bullying or Not?

Arguments. Confrontations. Fighting. These behaviors happen between siblings, schoolmates, teammates, and even best friends. Unkind words might be spoken. Names may be called. Pushes can lead to shoves.

Is it Bullying? In most cases, it is not. Such quarrels are simply clashes that can be resolved with an apology over cookies and milk. They are a  normal part of growing up and learning social skills.

Sometimes, however, these actions  are  intentional acts of a bully. To help distinguish bullying from routine childhood conflicts, look for these hallmarks*:

  • Bullying is intentional. The target does not knowingly provoke the bully. This means that if the bullied child is your child, make sure they did not provoke the other child.  For example if you child is in an argument with a classmate and is called a name, it is likely not bullying.
  • Bullying behavior is repetitive. Bullying generally is carried out repeatedly over time. It can sometimes be a single incident, but usually it is not.
  • With bullying there is a real or perceived imbalance of power. A child without power cannot bully. Power can be physical strength, social status, or intimidating behavior. It is not bullying if it happens between children with a balance of power.

So, what does this all mean to you as a parent?  First, answer these questions:  Is it a conflict or normal mean spirited behavior? or it is bullying?

For normal childhood conflicts:  Guide your child through being called a “bad word” or through a “quarrel with a friend.”  Give your child some tools to become smoother socially.  Learning to give a truly meaningful “I’m sorry” and moving forward are important skills.  Practicing forgiveness is also important.  Having your child explore if he/she contributed to a problem is helpful as well.

For Bullying: Make sure your child knows that being bullied is not his/her fault.  Let your child know that he/she does not have to deal with it alone.  Teach your child to be assertive. Teach your child to ask for help from you, his/her teacher, or any other trusted adult. Report the incident to the school. 

All of our children deserve safe schools and communities.  Working together it can be done. 

Have a great school year!   

Molly Robinson

Bullying is never okay. Here’s how you can be a kid against bullying!
Bullying can happen anyplace—on the playground, on the bus, in the hallways, even in the bathroom.

Bullying can be many things. It can be hitting, pushing, name calling, threatening, teasing, sending mean e-mails, taking or ruining another person’s things, leaving someone out—virtually anything that’s done on purpose to hurt someone.

How can you tell if something is bullying?
Just remember this: It’s bullying if...

  • Someone is hurting another person on purpose and the person who is doing it-- has more power.
  • Bullying is not fair or a cool thing to do. No one deserves to be bullied.

SO ~ What can you do if you are being bullied or see bullying happen? A lot!

What Every Kid Needs To Know About Bullying

                         *Speak Up!

When someone is willing to say they think something is wrong, they can make a difference. If you tell other kids that bullying is wrong, they will be more willing to  speak up, too. It’s okay to tell.

                          *Reach Out!

Tell the kid who is being bullied that they don’t deserve to be treated that way.

       ~~~~~~~~No one does~~~~~~~~~~~

Ask your friends to join you in being a kid against bullying.

                          *Be a Friend!

Invite the kid who is being bullied to play with you.

Create a “bully-free zone” on the playground where everyone is welcome

Why Are Some Kids Targeted By Bullying?

What puts a child at risk of being bullied? Targets typically share a specific set of traits.. First, targets tend to be "different." They might have a different ethnic background, language, religion, disability, race, or appearance than other kids in their school or neighborhood. Such differences can be the first thing that a child who bullies notices.
Difference alone, however, does not necessarily lead to bullying. Children who bully want someone who responds in a way that allows them to feel powerful. Targets of bullying typically have these four traits in common:

They act vulnerable. When bullied, they become visibly frightened, cry, or do not have an appropriate response. That is just what the child who bullies wants; it becomes an invitation to even more bullying. First, targets tend to be "different." They might have a different ethnic background, language, religion, disability, race, or appearance than
other kids in their school or neighborhood. Such differences can be the first thing that a child who bullies notices. Difference alone, however, does not necessarily lead to bullying. Children who bully want someone who responds in a way that allows them to feel powerful.

Targets of bullying typically have these four traits in common:

  • They act vulnerable. When bullied, they become visibly frightened, cry, or do not have an appropriate response. That is just what the child who bullies wants; it becomes an invitation to even more bullying.
  • They have few or no friends. Children who are socially isolated make easy marks. The child who bullies knows that no one is likely to come to the target's aid.
  • They are not assertive. To the child who bullies, people who are not assertive seem weak or easily dominated. Targets are also less likely to tell someone about the bullying.
  • They have low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. Children with low self esteem may feel they deserve the bullying.